Lately i've been incredibly lonely. I don't really have friends down here. I spend my days cooped up in either my house or my mom's house with my baby. I love my son, more than anything else in the world, but sometimes i need a break. I haven't had a break from him since my birthday when another very good friend of mine and i went shopping in Brunswick, and that was only for a few hours. I have gone crazy most every day just from lack of social interaction. I have no one to "hang out" with. And i think John is feeling the strain as well because i'm leaning on him more and more.
I have major personality and dependency issues. The few true friends i have know this and still love me for it. But it's hard to make new friends because a lot of times they don't want friends with that kind of baggage. But, if you think about it, we're women. We all have those issues!
Being away is really making me appreciate the few friends i had before. People i thought were aggravating or annoying or geeky before i now look on with new eyes. I appreciate their dorkiness in new ways. And i appreciate my friends all the more.
I am a very social person. I enjoy being out and about and being around people. The problem is, i haven't had that interaction in a long time, not really since i left Emmanuel. I think this is where some of my dependency and personality issues come from. I'm not getting enough social stimulation.
Being an Army wife is not conducive to making friends. People are constantly coming and going in your life. This is one of those times i wish i could just settle some place and be happy. But i know it won't happen for a while.
Friendship is one of the most important things in life. Your girlfriends (or guy friends) are the ones who help you get by, who help you make sense of it all. Without the love of friends we're hollow creatures. I love and cherish the friendships i have, and i do look forward to making new ones.
Yay, a new post:)
ReplyDeleteAhhh. I had almost the opposite problem and the same problem. I was never very social growing up and social situations made and still make me uncomfortable most of the time. However, when I got to Liberty, for the first time I had a real group of friends, not just one or two. I actual went "out on the town" or hung out with people, which was a completely new and freeing experience for me. and now that is gone and I feel just as awkward and socially inadept and lonely as ever. I have made some friends in Russia, and I am thankful for them, but they are not my friends like my Liberty friends are. I'm pretty much the only non-drinker and non-club/bar goer around. If it was only the drinking, I could handle that. I have no problem with my friends having a beer or two, but the conversation gets way out of hand here. I hate feeling like an outsider looking in, and I hate feeling like I'm over-trying to fit in. Oh, and just so you know, you were and still are a great friend!
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